Terms of Sweet Service
1. You Crave, We Deliver:
You want cookies? We got ’em. Place your order, and we’ll get those sweet treats to your door like it’s the last cookie on Earth. Standard shipping, overnight, same day—we’re all about making your cravings a priority. Once you hit that checkout button, you’re locked in, no ghosting. You pay, we bake, and the cookie magic begins.
2. No Cookie for You?! (Returns & Refunds):
We aim to send you cookies that’ll make you weak in the knees, but if something’s not right (burnt, broken, or MIA), hit us up within 48 hours. We’ll either replace it or give you a refund—your choice. Just don’t pull a fast one and try to return an empty cookie box—we weren’t born yesterday.
3. Allergies & Calories (Know Before You Munch):
You’re an adult (probably), so make sure you know what you’re munching on. We list ingredients, but hey,
cross-contamination is a thing. If you’ve got allergies, proceed with caution. Our cookies are made in a facility with nuts, flour, milk, gluten and other ingredients. By ordering, you’re acknowledging that you’ve read the fine print and won’t blame us for your cookie binge (or any consequences that come with it).
4. The Cookie Caveat (Product Availability):
Sometimes, a cookie flavor might be too popular, and we run out. If that happens, we’ll shoot you a message and hook you up with an equally awesome alternative. Either way, you’re getting cookies, so don’t worry your sweet tooth about it.
5. Cookie Content Ownership (No Copycats!):
Everything you see here, from our ridiculous cookie names to our flavor inventions, is all GoonSquad’s brainchild.
Don’t go trying to copy our vibes or sell bootleg versions of our cookies. We see you, sneaky cookie imitators, and we’ve got legal ninjas on speed dial.
6. Don’t Be a Jerk (Code of Conduct):
We’re all here for the cookies, so keep it cool. No hate, no nonsense, and absolutely no Karen moments when dealing with our customer service team. We’re here to help, not to hear your life story—unless it’s cookie-related, of
course.
7. Cookie Chronicles (Privacy Policy):
We promise not to sell your data to shady people. We’ll only use it to send you cookie updates, discounts, and maybe the occasional meme. Your info stays in the cookie jar, safe and sound. Unless, of course, the law asks nicely, then we have no choice.
8. Crumb Control (Amendments):
We might change these terms if we come up with something even wittier or if the lawyers make us. We’ll let you know, but let’s be real, who reads these anyway? Just keep ordering cookies, and we’ll keep delivering awesomeness. Deal?
9. You Order, We Assume You’re Cool with This:
By placing an order, you’re basically saying, “Yeah, I agree to all this cookie business.” So don’t act surprised when we throw cookie puns your way or send a flavor that blows your mind.
10. Break the Rules, No Cookies for You:
You violate these terms? You get no cookies. Simple as that. And trust us, a world without GoonSquad Cookies is a sad, crumbly place. So play nice, keep it sweet, and let the cookie chaos continue.
